Scott Porad

Over drinks on Saturday night, a friend shared that he quit the software business after 18 years as a professional software developer.  MIT grad, Anderson consultant, multiple web and software startups, and now done.

I’m just sick of it, he said, of the constant struggles and hassles.  And, after this long, it’s not interesting any more…it’s the same problems over and over again.

Now, he has a job as an “Excel jockey” running spreadsheets as a financial analyst for a property development firm.

I couldn’t be happier, he said.

I asked him why he thought making software was so hard, and he gave me these reasons, I’m paraphrasing is repsonses:

First, name one other thing in the world, he said, that is used by so many people and which is created entirely by hand?  Stuff that is made by hand is hard to make, and even more hard to make well, and tends to be less sturdy than things made by machines.  [Honestly, I had never thought of it that way.  In the "Etsy Era", when everybody wants authentic and local and handcrafted, what could be more hand-made than software?!]

Plus, in the history of the world, he said, is there one thing you can think of that has been hand-made, and on such a large scale as software, that was as complex?  [I cannot not.]

And, there is no standard way to do things.  Sure, there are conventions and patterns, but often good developers don’t agree on the right way to build something.  How often do you think two plumbers argue over the right way to plumb a bathroom?  Almost never!  [To boot, when constructing buildings, the methods are so well known that one person can design (the architect) and another person can build (the carpenter, plumber, electrician), and the local government can know enough about all the methods to regulate.  (Imagine if your city government regulated how your code was written!)]

Finally, can you think of any job where people are making really complex things by hand, and which requires a ton of experience and training to be good at, yet everyone and their uncle has an opinion on how long a project should take to get done?  Why is it that no matter how long a project takes, the customer always thinks it should be faster or cheaper?  [I do not know why, but he's right: it's ridiculous!]

Update: A co-worker just sent me an e-mail about this post: “Good post, but I think you should tell us if you think he’s right to think we’re nuts to keep doing what we’re doing.”

That’s a very good question, and I’m not sure that I know the answer.

Certainly, my friend gave me pause to think about the meaning of my life and work for a moment.

On the one hand, I have an addiction, of sorts.  Yes, it is the same old problems year after year, but I guess somewhere inside there is a little voice thinks, “maybe this will be the project that everything is perfect,” and that I’d be quitting if I didn’t keep trying.

On the other hand, maybe it’s a struggle that cannot be overcome.  Or, not overcome until we’ve been building software for as long as we’ve been building houses.  Maybe my friend was right, that this work is sort of a fools errand.

I’d be interested in hearing what you think in the comments.

I’ve finally hit the big time!  Lego has made an figure of me (minus the bowtie)!

Actually, my friend and co-worker Kyall made it using our Totally Looks Like Builder.

Following up on my earlier post about effective cold calls, my friend Shalendra sent me this e-mail:

This is a great point, I call it WIFFY – What’s In It For You.  Relevant not just for a cold call, but anywhere where you need people’s attention – talk? Presentation?  Raising $$$?  Etc.

Last fall, I attended a seminar with the great healer, Bob Duggan.  Shalendra’s words reminded me of a message that Bob delivered then:

When you are going to speak, do you decide how and what to speak?

Every word you speak is a treatment to the listener.  Design what the listener is going to get because words are like medicine.

The Native American tradition talks about the seven generations, and asks will what you speak serve the three generations after you, and honor the three before?

About three times a week, I get an e-mail like this, paraphrased:

Hi Scott,

My name is <insert name> and I’m with <insert company>.  We are a leading provider of <insert technology services>.

Can we meet for a short introductory meeting, so that I can learn more about your organization’s upcoming initiatives regarding <insert technology services>?

I look forward to meeting you soon,

<insert name>

Here are the problems with this approach:

First, I am really busy.  I barely have enough time for the people who rely on me.  Honestly, I don’t have any spare time to give away.  (On the other hand, I need more time.  If you can give me more time, then I’ll almost certainly buy your product.)

Second, why would I want to teach you about my organization’s upcoming plans?  Gee…I’m giving up a lot of value here…my precious time plus competitive information…why?

Now, I can hear the salesperson’s response: I need you to tell me your plans, so I can help you achieve your goals.  Sure, but that’s rather presumptuous.  I never asked for your help.

So, Mr. or Ms. Salesperson, if you want to get some traction with me, then instead of starting the conversation out with an ask, start with a give.

Start by offering something of value.  It doesn’t have to be a lot—perhaps some real information about the problems your product or service solves, some real data from another customer’s experience, maybe even the offer of a free trial.

Then, let me decide if that will help me achieve my goals.

I posted this on the Cheezburger intranet this morning:

The key here was making a to-do list instead of having my inbox be my to-do list.  Once I actually went through all the e-mail and made a list of things to do, it was really easy.  Here’s how I did it:

Last night, I did all the prep work.  I went through my entire inbox and removed each item.  Where appropriate, I moved it to my to-do list.

Then, as a final step, I prioritized the list.  Not the entire list, but the top 5-10 items.  This was simple…I looked at each item, asked “is this important?” and if it was, I moved it to the top of the list.

When I sat down to work this morning it was super straightforward to be productive: just start working down from the top of the list.  Easy peasy.

All of this was based on two things I’ve heard.  First, that a key to being productive is getting off to a fast start in the morning.  And, the way to do that is by making a to-do list for tomorrow at the end of today.

Second, I friend told me about a co-worker who:

• made a to-do list of only three items each day
• made the commitment to finish those items that day no matter how long they took, and
• did no more than the three items on her list in a given day

So, if she wasn’t done with her three items at quitting-time, then she stayed until she was done.  Or, if she was done at noon, then she left for the day.

“How was her productivity?”, I asked.  ”Off the charts,” my friend replied.

Essentially, this is a tortoise-vs-hare issue.  Most of us are hares: we make huge to-do lists and don’t get much done.  The tortoise proceeds slowly and methodically and wins the race.

To summarize, improve productivity by getting off to a fast start by making a to-do list for the next day before you leave for the day, and by taying focused on a small list of to-dos, and committing to getting them done.

I’m reading a book about the building of the transcontinental railroad in the 1860′s. It turns out they were practicing lean all the way back then!

The book states that one reason US railroads took off so fast was because railroad builders were willing to build rough roads to prove out the profitability of a route, then after the route was making money invest the profits into regrading the road to a higher quality*:

Something else distinguished the American railway from its English parent.  In America it was common practice to get the road open for traffic in the cheapest manner possible, and in the least time possible.  The attitude was, It can be fixed up and improved later, and paid for with the earnings.

The old maxim is true: everything changes and everything stays the same.

* – Nothing Like It in the World: The Men Who Built the Transcontinental Railroad, 1863-1869, Stephen E. Ambrose, pp. 25-26

Fantastic!

I have a loan from Nationstar Mortgage.  My wife decided to setup an account on their website, so we could pay our bill online.  It turns out that Nationstar doesn’t really care that much about account security.

What you see below is what people in the business call the opposite of a best practice.  This stupid bank sent my password to me in e-mail in plain text.  Big no-no.  Passwords in plain text are an indication of relatively lax password security and encryption.

The double-stupid thing about the whole thing is that if I go change my password their system will send me another e-mail, so there is no way to make my account secure.

I’m sharing this publicly, so that perhaps they’ll be embarrassed and fix the problem.  Though, maybe I should line up some hackers and rob them of a few bennys first.

UPDATE: Christopher Burgess sent a document from the Federal Financial Institutions Examination Council that provides guidance for “Authentication in an Internet Banking Environment“.

For the last several months, I’ve been relatively absent from this space.  The reason why is that we’ve been hard at work developing a new version of the Cheezburger sites.  Today, we launched a public beta at (which you can compare to the old site).

The abbreviated version of what we’ve been doing for the last several months can be summed up in this one simple phrase: addition by subtraction.

We cut the clutter, got rid of the noise, and brought the funny pictures front and center.  There is more laughs per pixel, less advertising getting in the way, and a more streamlined experience overall.

Here’s a picture from the office while we were hard at work.  As you can see, I didn’t do this all by myself…there were many other cats involved, and they deserve as much, if not more, credit than I.

I hope you enjoy the new sites as much as we enjoyed making them!

Greetings, music fans!  I’m here to serve you with real-time commentary on the 54th Grammy Awards.  I’m watching shortly tape-delayed, so that we can fast-forward through the commercials.  Lisa is on the remote, and as my loyal readers know, she won’t hesitate to bang the gong if an act is awful.  Here we go…watch out for snark, and refresh the page frequently for updates.

9:00pm: The show opens with Bruce Springsteen singing some sort of song about America and “taking care of our own”.  Coincidentally, just earlier today Lisa and I were listening to the “Woodstock” channel on Pandora, and I found myself thinking that in the 60′s and 70′s musicians were on the edge of social commentary, but are no longer?  Who is the Bob Dylan, CNS&Y, Buffalo Springfield, etc. of today?

9:05pm: LL Cool J is the host this year.  That’s sort of interesting.  Not a conventional choice, and to be honest, I like it.

9:06pm: LL says a prayer for Whitney Houston.  She was a star, and it’s a shame that she was so messed up.  How does that happen?  All the talent, all the success, all the gifts.  It’s sad.

9:09pm: Bruno Mars the next act up.  Reminds me of Janelle Monae, but she’s edgier.  I like Janelle…she reminds me of Bowie.  Anyhow, Bruno Mars is giving an okay performance…sort of an updated James Brown, but James Brown was better.  In fact, they should have just ended this entire genre of music with James Brown.  It began and stopped with The Godfather.

9:10: Going into commercial, they promo Rhianna, Coldplay, Taylor Swift, FooFighters and Nikki Manaj for performances.  Aren’t these acts sort of stale?

9:11: Back from break, we have Bonnie Raitt and Alecia Keys singing an Etta James duet.  Now, here are two women with real talent.  Seriously.  I bet they both put on fantastic shows.  I think the song they’re singing is called “Sunday Kind of Love” and boy, oh, boy…can they both sing!

9:12: Best solo performance: Adele.  Lady Gaga.  Bruno Mars.  Katy Perry.  Pink.  Adele looks great, Lady Gaga is weird.  Bruno is full of himself, or at least putting that act on.  And, Adele wins.  I was wrong about her a few years ago…she’s fantastic.  She was in Seattle earlier this year…it was the hottest ticket in town.  Typically, tickets can be had.  For Adele, they could not.

9:14: Chris Brown.  Didn’t he beat up Rhianna a few years ago?  I ask Lisa what’s up with that because she reads People magazine, so I figured she’d know.  She says this is a big deal because it’s his first time back to the Grammy’s since the incident…which was the night of the Grammy’s.  Well, that must have been an interesting backstage reunion.  Anyhow, the song is so-so, but dang, Chris Brown can dance.  I didn’t know he was such a dancer, and comment to Lisa that he’s the best dancer I’ve seen since Michael Jackson.  ”That’s what everybody says,” Lisa responds plainly.

9:19pm: Jay-Z and Kanye win a Grammy and neither are in attendance.  But, then the camera flashes Blake whoever and Miranda Lambert.  They are everywhere these days!  Superbowl, The Voice and now the Grammy’s.  Reba (do I need to say her last name?) introduces some guy and Kelly Clarkston…hey, she was at the Superbowl too!

9:24: The guy Kelly is singing with is wearing a cowboy hat and a suit.  Lisa says she doesn’t get the cowboy hat thing.  I don’t either.  I mean, I get it if you’re outdoors somewhere, but with the suit??   You can’t explain that.  Regardless, Kelly and The Guy With the Suit and the Hat belt out their song, and aren’t bad.

9:26pm: Now, Jack Black is doing some sort of intro, and I’m scheduled to see Tenacious D for the first time this spring.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  On the one hand, you could say Jack Black is a tremendous talent.  On the other hand, you could say he’s an obnoxious ass.  I would be interested in meeting him in person to see what he’s really like.   Does anybody know?

9:28pm: Oh, Jack Black is introducing the Foo Fighters.  Lisa comments that Dave Grohl has the magic touch: Nirvana and the Foo Fighters.  As my people say, if it had only been Nirvana, dayenu! But, then to add a decade of Foo Fighters to the resume.  I don’t really like the Foo Fighters all that much, but I must give the man his props.

9:31pm: We’re 30 minutes into the show and Lisa hasn’t fast-forwarded through a single act yet.  As I write that, Rhianna and Coldplay are introduced.  I’d put them at risk.  As you know, I don’t think Coldplay is the best band in the world, but there is no other band that makes a sound like they do.  When you hear a Coldplay song  you know it.

9:33: So far, it’s only Rhianna…big production, lots of dancers and lights, but a song that doesn’t move me.  I ask Lisa, “why do you think Rhianna is so popular?”  ”I really have no clue,” she says, “I know when she was touring her show’s weren’t selling out.  I really don’t understand it.”  Me either.

9:35: Oh, here’s Coldplay.  Chris Martin on guitar, and here comes Rhianna along singing with him.  Lisa comments that Rhianna’s shorts are really unattractive.  I say, “even worse than belly chains?”  Dang…Rhinna is getting harshed on by us tonight, I’m sorry.

9:38pm: I watch, I’d say on average, three hours of TV per week, and I’ve personally seen Coldplay perform this song at least three times previously on TV.  The one with the chorus that says, “paradise,” repeatedly.  Coldplay is obviously promoting their new album, and what this makes me think is that the marketing machine of the major music labels must be exhausting for these bands.  I wonder if they enjoy it, or if they feel like indentured servants.

9:41pm: To be fair, when we saw Coldplay on the Colbert Report, Chris Martin was interviewed and he seemed like a super nice guy.  So, I don’t mean to be raggin’ on Coldplay.

9:42: Best Rock Performance.  First nominee?  Coldplay.  Duh.  The Grammys always have a habit of giving the award to the act that just previously performed.

9:43: Oh, snap.  The Grammy goes to the Foo Fighters, who performed, like, 10 minutes ago.  That being said, these were some pretty standup bands: in addition to Foo Fighters and Coldplay, Mumford and Sons, The Decemberists and Radiohead were all nominated.  I’d go to that show, in a heartbeat.

9:46pm: Uh-oh.  Ryan Secrest is introducing a Beach Boys celebration and, I believe, reunion.  I have a feeling this is not going to end well.

9:47: The first act in the Beach Boys celebration is Adam Levine from Maroon 5.  Now, I have two thoughts on Adam.  First, like Kelly and Blake, he’s everywhere.  Second, I like his song Moves Like Jagger because it is an awesome tribute to an often overlooked phenomena: Mick Jagger and his moves are amazing!

9:49pm.  Foster the People is the second act in the Beach Boys celebration, and Lisa comment that they look really nervous.  I would bet this is absolutely the biggest show they’ve ever played by a country mile.

9:51pm.  So far, nothing embarrassing, but here come the Beach Boys.  Do they still have the magic?  Or, will will this look like open mic night at the old folks home?

9:54: Meh.

9:55pm.  We go to commercial and it’s worth noting that Lisa still hasn’t fast-forwarded through an act yet.  This has got to be a record!  I’m not going to say anything though because I don’t want to jinx her no-hitter.

9:56pm.  Stevie Wonder…woooooooo!!!!!!!…introduces Sir Paul.  All I’m going to say is that I wonder what John Lennon would be like today.  Because, I regret to say, that Sir Paul doesn’t do much for me.  On the other hand, Lisa says of his act, “that was beautiful.  It was such a sweet song.”

10:02pm.  Holy smokes!  El Debarge was just nominated for a Grammy.  I didn’t know that guy was still around!  What was that hit he had back in the day?

10:03pm.  Funniest moment of the show.  The next act, a duo that I don’t know, starts by saying, “I want to thank all of our opening acts this evening, especially the young man from Liverpool”.

10:04pm.  ”These guys are good,” Lisa says, and actually rewinds to find out the name of their duo.  Holy crap.  It’s like “Bizarro Lisa on the Remote”…we’re going backwards!  (The duo was The Civil Wars.)

10:o5pm.  The sweet and cute Taylor Swift is on.  ”All her songs sound the same,” Lisa says.  ”That’s because it’s the same song,” I reply.  Seriously, I think I’ve seen this exact award show production before.  Anyhow, here’s the real thing I wonder…what happens to her career when she’s busted for doing coke and the sex tape comes out?  I mean, you know it’s gonna happen, right?

10:10pm.  Taylor gets an standing O and drops her jaw in amazement.  ”Is this an act, or is she still really in awe of the fact that she got a standing ovation?” asks Lisa.  I think it’s an act.

10:11pm.  Neil Patrick Harris is presenting something.  Dooooood!  That guy has an amazing manager.  He’s gone from Doogie to an A-List brand seemingly out of nowhere.  Seriously, who has a better brand that NPH?

10:15pm.  Now performing: the artist known as “does anybody give a f*#k about Katy Perry?”  This might be the act that breaks Lisa’s streak except for I bet she feels bad about the whole Russell Brand thing.  ”Lisa, what do you think of the whole Russell Brand thing?” I ask.   “I don’t feel that much about it,” she says, which pretty much is how I feel about Katy Perry entirely.

10:17pm.  ”And, the other thing I would say is that the thought of sleeping with Russell Brand is literally repulsive to me,” Lisa says, which is pretty much how I feel about Katy Perry.

10:22pm.  The act everybody has been waiting for: Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.  First, I notice that she doesn’t change costume.  I like that.  Second, she looks bored.  I mean, seriously, how many times do you think she has performed this song in the last year?  Easily 100.  Probably 200.  With rehearsals and such I bet it’s not unreasonable that she’s sung this song 500 times in the last year.  Yeah, I’d be bored too.  That being said, I’ve been wrong about Adele before…for all I know, this is the most exciting performance of her life!

10:31pm.  Okay, folks, I must report honestly: fatigue is starting to set in and we’re only half-way through the show, and I still have to take the garbage out and walk the dog.  For the first time, I’m starting to feel my street cred in question.  I might not be able to make the duration.  Maybe next year I should catch the East Coast feed, so that I can be warmly in my bed by 8:30pm.

10:37pm.  ”Who’s this guy?” I ask.  ”Glen Campbell?  You’ve never heard of Glen Campbell?” Lisa says.  Suddenly I’m feeling a little sheepish.

10:38pm.  The Band Perry is playing as part of the Glen Campbell tribute, and here’s a question: if the brothers didn’t have a hot sister, would they have made it this far?

10:47: On Carrie Underwood, “Let’s just look at her, Scott.  You’re writing all this stuff and you’re not going say anything about this?  I know it’s mean, but just look at her eyelashes.  She looks a kewpie doll!”

10:49: Carrie introduces Tony Bennett.  Tony is my favorite.  At our wedding, Lisa and I danced our first dance to one of his songs.  He was in Seattle a few months ago and I’m really bummed that I missed it.  I’m going to go find out his tour dates right now because he doesn’t have a lot of time left.

10:52: Oh, this is a cruel joke.  He’s playing in southern Oregon next week, just a 5 hour drive from my house, and I can’t go!!

11:00pm: Nice tribute to Run-DMC, Chris Brown.  Well done.

11:01: Honestly, I don’t get why David Guetta is so famous.  Can you explain?

11:03pm: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new record: 2 hours and 3 minutes into the show, Lisa asks me, “do you want watch this?” and we proceed to fast-forward through the Foo Fighters and into Deadmau5.

11:05pm: Nikki Minaj.  WTF is this?  Is this noise what the kids are listening to these days?  I’m feeling old.

11:13pm: My friends, the lights are dimming…we’re in real-time suffering through commercials and lé tired.  I’ll keep you posted, but we’re getting to the end of the line.

11:24pm: Okay, we might have just rounded third-base and be headed home: Sir Paul is leading a medley of Beatles tunes, starting with Golden Slumbers which is a fabulous song.  This could be a nice way to finish the show, but it wouldn’t be a nice way to end this diary because I’m committed to concluding on a negative note, so let me say this: we don’t don’t have anybody younger than 60 who can close out the show?!  You’re telling me the last 40 years has not produced a single talent more worthy than Sir Paul?!  I mean, I love these songs, but I have to say this conclusion sort of wraps up what was a somewhat uninspiring Grammy’s performance.  Here’s to looking forward to next year!!

Post Script: 11:29pm: Actually, this is sort of cool.  Sir Paul is actually jamming with about 6 other guitarists.  I don’t know them all, but Dave Grohl and Bruce are in there…and they are playing music!  So many of these “artists” don’t actually play music, so I must say that was actually a fantastic ending!

P.S.  If you got this far and still want more, go checkout the live lol’ing they did over on Roflrazzi.